September is Alopecia Awareness Month, and as someone who works with women experiencing hair loss every week, I wanted to talk about it.
But there’s something important I need to say first.
I don’t have alopecia.
I can support women with alopecia, listen to them, learn from them and help them with their hair if that’s what they choose — but I can’t tell you what it feels like to lose your hair.
So instead, I asked women who actually live with alopecia:
“What do you wish more people understood about alopecia?”
And one answer summed up so much of what followed:
“It is NOT just hair.”
It can affect so much more than appearance
Through my clients, followers and the women I follow within the alopecia community, I’ve learned just how far the effects of hair loss can reach.
One woman told me about losing part of her identity and confidence. About the expense of buying wigs. About looking in the mirror and not liking what she sees. About starting new relationships and worrying about when — and how — to tell somebody about her alopecia.
She has lived with it for more than 20 years.
Another woman told me something that really stayed with me.
She described alopecia as heartbreaking, but said that at the same time it can feel vain to be so upset about it.
When we spoke afterwards, she explained that she sometimes belittles what she’s going through because other people are facing “far worse”.
I don’t think anybody should feel guilty for caring about losing their hair.
Hair can be tied to how we recognise ourselves, how we express ourselves and how we feel when we look in the mirror. Being devastated by losing it doesn’t make somebody vain.
And equally, not being devastated by it doesn’t make somebody wrong either.
There isn’t one “right” way to live with alopecia
This is probably one of the biggest things I’ve learned.
Some women want wigs.
Some don’t.
Some proudly show their hair loss. Others would rather nobody knew.
Some women want a wig that recreates exactly how their hair looked before. Others decide this is their opportunity to have completely different hair.
All of those choices are okay.
My job isn’t to tell a woman how she should feel about her alopecia or what she should do about it.
If wearing a wig helps somebody feel more like herself, I’ll help her find one.
If embracing her hair loss makes her feel like herself, I’ll cheer her on just as loudly.
And I think things ARE changing
Something I’ve noticed particularly amongst younger women experiencing hair loss gives me a lot of hope.
They’re talking about alopecia. They’re wearing wigs when they want to. They’re going without wigs when they want to and embracing their hair loss. And you know what? People are accepting them for exactly who they are. That is truly amazing to see.
It gives me so much hope that the world younger girls with alopecia are growing up in is changing. We might not be 100% there yet, but the alopecia community is absolutely moving the needle in the right direction.
And perhaps awareness isn’t about the rest of us speaking for that community.
Maybe it’s about listening when they tell us what living with alopecia is actually like.
So this Alopecia Awareness Month, that’s what I want to do.
Listen. Learn. Support.
And remember that it was never “just hair.”